I'm trying to catch up on housework. The dishes are almost done, I need to wipe the table, the bathroom needs a deep clean, the fridge needs a deep clean...
Do you ever run yourself ragged writing to-do lists and then avoid them like your life depends on it? I go through spurts of doing this to myself. Sometimes it feels like even when I complete and check off every item, when I go to enjoy my "free time" there is a nagging sense that I forgot something major. Planners feel gentler to me. There is a clear visual of the amount of time I have to complete something and I can start and complete things based on urgency and time required. I like how planners can become personal tomes of what you did, what you went to see, who you spent time with, what you cared about in the past, what you put off, what you missed, what you valued. They're like scrapbooks but they feel more intimate because they're not meant to be curated; they're more private, more worn.
My dad taught me how to use different types of electric sanders this summer so that we could refinish a shelf that my partner and I found on a curb a couple years ago. It had seen better days. We think it had been stored outside for an extended period of time. The wood had warped, greyed, and cracked. There was a beautiful, warm, lighly knotted wood under the layers of time and neglect. It took me a couple of weeks to sand every piece clean and smooth. I can't sweat so I had to take lots of breaks to cool down. My dad and partner stained it for me to speed up the process. We sealed it with waterproof varnish, and my brother put it back together with wider, toothier screws. Now it holds all of our pots and pans and my baking tools. It makes me think of all the different ways people show up for each other and that you can miss them if you're not looking.
I noticed in one of my friend's instagram posts a couple weeks later that they have the same shelf, but taller. My dad said that the one we found was probably mass produced locally. I wonder about objects like this; they enter your awareness, they suddenly show up in many places, but no one remembers who made them and they aren't stamped with any information or dates. It makes the objects familiar and mysterious at the same time. I guess you could say that about most objects.
It makes me think of all the places that my handwriting shows up. I have held many jobs, signed many documents that go to many different places, written many notes and shopping lists, written letters, recorded information as a clerk, left people notes in their notebooks and yearbooks. How long will my "signature", my handwriting, stay somewhere after I have left? I've tagged one thing in my life with spray paint. I guess I could go check if it's still there. It's probably been written over by now.
Anyhow, your patience is rewarded! Here is the ferment today. I tamped it down pretty assertively after it expressed itself onto the counter when I burped it. I pushed a lot of the air pockets out earlier and it's already reclaimed that space (I need to tamp it again). I can hardly wait a month for this one. But I will because it's worth it.
Thanks for stopping by, seeya next time!