I'm not really surprised by what is going on.

I'm not really sure I have anything to say that hasn't already been said by someone/somewhere else. I don't have a particularly unique take or perspective.


I guess it feels odd to be intentionally wholly separated from social media during it all. People have been sending me screencaps and misinformation they get from fb; the people that used to warn me about fact checking sources and not believing everything I read or everything I am told. It's odd to watch the older adults around me seem to become less reasonable and more gullible as time goes on. Then I realize that we've both changed, and that someday people might experience me the same way as I am growing "older".

I keep meaning to develop a penpalship with an elder. I should just find a local retirement home and do it already.


I know these situations are not unusual historically or globally--neither pandemics nor attempted coups. It doesn't change the fact that I'm feeling apprehensive. It makes me feel stuck, seeing it as a repetition or echo of the past and other places; feeling unable to personally do anything about it outside of my sphere of influence and personal choices. I guess it's like every other crisis; the climate crisis, the economic crisis, the housing crisis, the debt crisis... It all gets overwhelming.


I'm working and trying to distract myself with hobbies.

I made crackers using barley flour, and flavored them with fenugreek seeds. They are ~weird~, but they were pretty good with some plain hummus.

I'm still playing around with Godot. I figured out how to pair animations with specific player inputs and how to add animated background elements. I know these are small accomplishments, but they make me feel effective. I like learning things on my own through trial and error. I feel like mistakes are one of the quickest ways to learn. I like trying to figure out the physics on my own by looking up just the functions and then experimenting with them because funny things usually happen with the sprites.

I wrote a simple, looped song a couple days ago. It sounds like a subdued, "chill" existential-crisis Super Mario Sunshine level that is still somehow soothing. I don't know what type of chord I've used: I wasn't really interested in learning music theory when I "should have". I've always just wanted to do the music. I hated talking as a class in band classes--all I wanted to do was play. I tried to look up the chords in order to describe them, but I can't figure it out. It's neither major nor minor, and it doesn't appear to be a diminished minor?? If I ever figure it out, I guess I'll add an edit to this post. I know that I like the way it sounds and that's good enough for me for now.

I hope you're finding ways to unplug and recharge if that's what you need. It's ok to be overwhelmed and it's ok to take breaks if you can.

Thanks for stopping by. Seeya next time.