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Hello again.

We’ve been getting more produce than I know what to do with from our CSA lately. Fall is where it’s at, I guess! It is generally “harvest time” in the fall in the American Midwest. I’m going to try to use up most of it today preparing dinners for the week in advance to get ready for the next batch of veggies. I made a pair of pastry pie doughs last week anticipating a covered pie, but it didn’t happen. I think I’m going to pull them out of the freezer and maybe make a couple of veggie-heavy quiches or a veggie pot pie. I’m not sure yet. I have to check what else we have in the cupboards and if we have anything helpful in the freezer.

I can’t stand the taste of raw bell peppers. They seem to taste like plastic to me? We keep getting them in our CSA and I don’t want to let them sit until they’re compost, or waste them all in a veggie stock because they’re edible on their own. So I tried a cream-based roasted pepper sauce on pasta. It was so good! We don’t have the kind of preserved peppers that the chef used in his, but it sounded like they imparted a smokiness and an umami note maybe, so I put a tablespoon of smoked paprika in instead. I’m going to make a batch and freeze it for another day since we have so many veggies that need to be eaten fresh now.

My dad has a little apple tree that grows tasty but unattractive apples. His girlfriend gave us some recently, and I had the intention of making a pie with them, but there were too few so we made our first cider of the year instead. It had more spices in it than last time I mentioned on here. While my partner prepared the apples (we don’t bother with peeling them), I measured out some cinnamon sticks, whole allspice, whole cloves, and a piece of nutmeg that I had already been shaving pieces off of for some pasta dish. We added some brown sugar for a deeper, molasses-y flavor (but not too much). It’s tasty, satisfying, and comforting. It’s been getting colder outside and we’ve had a lot of disruptive life events lately, so it’s been nice to heat some up and relax into the warmth of a mug in my hands and spiced vapor caressing my face and loosening my sinus pressure when I lift the mug to sip on the cider.

I’ve always been drawn to warm drinks; the way they smell, the way they feel as they travel through my body, the creature comfort of the warmth they impart, the sight of the steam rising from them—especially in sunlight, the idea of having the time to fully appreciate as much of the experience as I can. I like sipping broths for the same reasons. Since I’ve transitioned away from consuming caffeine, I’ve been looking for alternatives in advance of winter so that I don’t fall back on caffeinated beverages. I like rooibos-based chais, mint tea, hot cocoa with hot pepper in it, warmed soymilk with almond extract and honey, simple homemade sipping stock…

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How do you make things happen when life keeps going without you?

I want to make a game. I have a narrative idea, game mechanics, a series of lessons I’ve had to learn from life over and over again so far that I’d like to work into the story arc, some characters, and some songs I wrote that I like that I think other people might like. I’ve never made something so big in my life, though. I wrote a thesis for graduating from college, but that was only 20 pages of writing and some surface research, which took less than 4 months altogether. I didn’t write it out of deep love for the subject, just a certain level of interest since it was related to the focus of my degree.

I feel like a creative project like this is different. It’s learning a lot of new skills, and applying myself to learn more on the ones that I already feel relatively confident in. It takes dedication and my own internal motivating force. If I failed to produce a sensical thesis, I wouldn’t have gotten my degree; if I don’t do this, I feel like the only repercussion is my own sense of disappointment in not expressing myself during my lifetime in the way I am most able to (at-length, emotionally, indirectly). It doesn’t impact my life otherwise.

I want to provide a piece of dense, engaging, emotionally effective entertainment like the kind that has deeply moved and impacted me throughout my life. I want to pass it on. I know creative works don’t speak to people universally as much people like to try to assemble canons of particular subjects and declare “these are classics and they’re supposed to move you no matter who you are”. I guess it’s not my intention to try to make something approaching universally appealing. I think if I can move just one other person, I would be satisfied.

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Oh, here’s a picture of my sweater so far. I’ll take a picture of it outside when it’s done so you can see the color illuminated by sunlight.

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Anyway, thanks for reading! I hope you’re eating and sleeping well. See you again sometime.