Oh my goodness what a month and change. Moving is such a pain in the butt. I got really sick in the middle of it and missed a week of work. I couldn’t breath through my nose at all and I couldn’t hear anything. Luckily, it didn’t turn into anything else and I recovered fine and we finished everything at the old place. Now we’re unpacking and editing belongings. I think I’ve only cooked twice so far in our new place. We made chicken sandwiches similar to the way a place I liked to go to as a college student made falafel sandwiches. We’re much closer to that place now, and I think of it often, but we are not eating out now, so I’ll make them at home.

My partner bought a quart of hummus and some pita bread from a deli we grew up with in our hometown when we went to visit family members on both sides. We made some garlic yogurt sauce, cut up some English cucumbers, tomatoes, parsley, cilantro, and a yellow onion, and baked some chicken thighs and breasts in our clay cooker with some olive oil, salt, fresh grated garlic, ground cumin, ground coriander, and black pepper. We wrapped it all up in the bread with some of the hummus for lunch. It was great. We’re eating it again for dinner. I would make falafel, but we’re not set up well enough yet that I’d be comfortable with that level of labor.

My new job location is much more supportive and professional. Things still get hectic because of the industry, but it’s not too bad and people manage their emotions and feelings more professionally. The meditation I’ve been doing has been helping with how I manage myself, too. And how quiet this new place is is insanely good for managing anxiety and just feeling safe and comfortable at home.

Our cat has settled in well. She takes naps all over the place, and we’ve seen her sitting in all of the different windows so far when we’ve come home. We have a patio door that I leave open but keep the screen door closed—she likes to sit and sniff for the other cats and dogs around the complex. Sometimes squirrels and bugs come up close to the patio door looking for scraps and she does the cat butt wiggle. It’s cute. Watching her enjoy things makes me happy.

There is some carpeting here, and our cat likes to roll around on it a lot. Sometimes, she’ll lay on her side and drag herself across it by the claws slowly. It looks silly whenever she does it. One of my partner’s family members gave us a vacuum, so we are able to keep the dust accumulation in the carpet to a minimum for both our health’s sake. Everywhere else in the apartment has vinyl flooring that looks like tiling. It’s also easy enough to vacuum and wipe clean.

I have my own little desk now. It’s odd. I haven’t had one for 6 years, and it was pretty integral to how I participated in my hobbies and work back then. Something about having a cleared off space specifically dedicated to my personal activities feels imperative to me. Maybe I feel that so deeply because I wasn’t able to control any space I occupied for so long having grown up in a dysfunctional hoarding house. We’re starting to put things away, so now I’m looking at how I want to organize my hobby implements.

Transitions make me think a little too hard about where I am and what I want and what is actually reasonable in life. I’m feeling way less obsessed with matching up with what people expect of me now, at least. I just don’t have the energy to be anything other than me, and I know who I am better than I used to, and I know what I’ll put up with.

It’s weird how much people put up with when they’re young because everyone around them is telling them how they should be, how they should feel, what they should want. It’s weird to me how much we don’t listen to young people and let them tell us what they need and want. I recognize that sometimes young people are unreasonable or outlandish about things, like everyone else, of course; but I think as a culture we spend so much time trying to squeeze them into what we want them to be, rather than letting them tell us who they are. Does that make sense? I guess I’m speaking from personal experience, but also what I’ve observed as an adult.

I’ve been writing more fanfiction here and there early in the morning lately. I’ve been reliably waking up at 4am now. I think I want to transition to potentially writing my own short stories once I’m done with the arc I’m working on. If I ever write some, I’ll put it here in a new section.

Anyway, I need to get back to unpacking. I missed checking out Neocities while I’ve been busy. It’s nice to get back on and read up on everything that’s been posted while I’ve been ‘gone’. I hope you’re doing well. See you again sometime.