I fell asleep on the pavement outside the house I’m staying at in the middle of the day. It’s just warm enough out to do so safely. The sun was fully out. It felt like I was getting burned through my black pants in a pleasant way. I haven’t just sat in the sun doing nothing for a very long time. Before I fell asleep, I was listening to some migratory birds’ mating calls from the distance. They’re just coming back from the South, and they’re about three feet (one meter) tall. They sound like singing frogs. I didn’t know we had them here until I talked to my ornithologist friend about them.

I didn’t mean to fall asleep, and I know my back will be sore from how hard the cement was, but something about it felt necessary, natural, and healing. The heat and light was so comforting. It felt like a spell—like I was beckoned to the ground by a magnetic, persuasive sun goddess. My body misses and craves sunlight.

I made some cardamom bread this weekend. Something about kneading dough felt necessary, natural, and healing, too. Every oven is different. I’m used to ovens that run a little too cool. It seems this oven is accurate, so my bread burned a bit on the bottom at the shortest suggested bake time. It still came out well. I’ve been snacking away on it. My appetite is finally starting to come back, but my clothes don’t fit anymore. I don’t think I’ll be in a spot where I’ll put the weight back on for a bit, so someone is going to teach me how to take in the waist of my pants in a way that’s reversible.

Life is routine and disruption in a constant, never ending cycle. The older I get, the more familiar and comfortable I am getting with this reality (even if it can be distressing). People on the whole are tough. Things shake them up, disillusion them, scar them forever, but they still get up when they can in some way and carry on. Resilience can be both a blessing and a curse, depending on one’s perspective. I personally lean towards blessing. It gives me more time to find the beauty in it all.

I hope you’re doing well and eating well. Take a nap in the sun if you can. Thank you for reading, see you again sometime.