Hello!

One of my friends invited me to her family Thanksgiving thing. My friend, her cousin, and I carpooled there. I was an odd age in the group—not young enough to be in college, or old enough to be a parent of a college-aged person, nor old enough to be a grandparent (I don't think I grammared that right, but whatever). I was the only person from my age cohort there. Which is fine, it just felt odd in like a I didn’t quite get any of the cultural references people were making kind of way. Anyway, they were all very lovely and welcoming and it was nice to have somewhere to be for the holiday.

I brought the pumpkin pie. I made it early in the morning day-of. I ground the cinnamon and grated the nutmeg fresh. I also made a pie shell from scratch. It was nice to do that again after not having the time or wherewithal to bake for a long time. They told me to bring a tupperware for leftovers, too, and they made sure I got another dinner’s worth. I had my first bloody mary—I decidedly like them—and a sour beer, which was like a beer-y kombucha?? I liked it, but my friend hated it.

We played some games and I talked a bit about what I do at work for my turn to talk since I’m not in college or going to college soon. I guess that’s not true, I’m in grad school, but it’s not the same. I think people (myself included) like to listen to young people seemingly on the precipice of becoming through their choices, like they have fleeting but boundless horizons to chase. An imaginary wide expanse of possibility and adventure. I do not miss my time as a younger person, but I am happy to meet people that seem to be enjoying their youth in moderation with family that are invested in their success and well-being.

My friend brought up to her uncle that we are into a lot of the same things, like fermenting and spreadsheets, and we did end up talking about spreadsheets for awhile. He kept insisting that he wasn't a "spreadsheets guy", but he did use them for work and for budgeting. I thought it was funny, since I would call myself a "spreadsheets enthusiast" and I'm not shy about it. I think they're a great way to organize and sort information quickly once they're set up properly, and there is always something new to learn about how they work. I use them for my job, but also for budgeting, as a hobby, and I do small data cleaning jobs on the side when I'm not already doing a million things and could use the money (but also I just like being a computer-work-dopamine-gremlin for a couple days sometimes, sue me lol). A good chunk of the young folk are going into finance, specifically actuarial science. I had a strong pang of envy hearing them talk about it, but I have made a path in my life that I can live with now. I think I would have enjoyed using math more intensely in my professional life, but I find what I do now more socially rewarding and I think that is important because it forces me to work at consistently becoming a better person and want to continue working on myself in meaningful ways. Anyway! It was interesting to be around a large, neurodivergent but well-off family because they've collectively found ways to use their gifts to excel (oh no, a spreadsheet pun) despite a collective history of trauma and addiction.

It was nice. It made me wish I had that sort of system around me more consistently. If I keep working on myself, do I become good enough to have found family like that that are just around? Can I be grateful and strive for more at the same time? I suppose I only got a snapshot, I don’t really know anything about them as individuals besides my friend and her cousin. I’m making assumptions. It was just a strikingly functional family function compared to what I am used to.

Here are things I am grateful for, since that is part of the canon of the holiday (in no particular order):

Anyhow, if you celebrate, I hope it was a good one! If you don’t, I hope it was a great day! Seeya laterrrrr.